Among other things, I feel absolutely unable to actually process what is going on. This is probably a combination of terrible sleep hygiene and a tendency to go looking for really complicated things and subsequently feel like I have to understand them. Also, I’m trying to do a lot and I’m not good at doing a lot. Really, I specialize in doing very
I try writing to-do lists but they are just impossibly long. By the time I’m finished, a half hour has passed. My tendency is to then say to myself “Wow, that’s a lot of stuff to do. I can’t possibly do all of it. (So I won’t do any of it, or else I’ll feel bad for not completing what’s on the list).” At least I know about the tendency and recognize it, I guess.
Let me formulate what might be a wish list at the moment. In no particular order:
Complete a book and have it ready for publication. Right now I have two contenders, neither of which is anywhere near publishable by any self-respecting outfit.
Go back in time and become a marine biologist, then use satellite-tracking technology to map blue whale migration routes and breeding grounds. The biggest living thing ever to live, and we don’t even know what it does on weekends. And we call ourselves homo sapiens.
Hang out with all of my friends from undergrad, staying up all night playing games. Ah, nostalgia for a simpler time when I could function minimally with even less sleep.
Take a six month sabbatical to do research for a definitive debate with Brian Flemming. I want to be a professional arguer too.
Completely change almost everything about Christianity. Ideas about scripture and the existence of a canon, the ordination process and restrictions on ordination, the structure of worship, our public image as hate-mongering inbred six-day creationists, claims of orthodoxy, concepts of the meaning of Sacrament, hypocritical acceptance and support of a corrupt and evil status-quo…you know, a self-righteous house cleaning.
Starting, obviously, with me.