Here’s Something

Tonight I was at the Larson’s and we were talking about the joy of being paid a million dollars to say some things in TV – that is, like corporate sponsors do on the interminable commericals that accompanied the game we were watching.

The idea came up for a challenge when I said that there weren’t many things I didn’t I’d say for a million dollars. So Aric thought I should put this up on my blog and see what people come up with: What Wouldn’t Doug Say?

The rules are simple. It can’t be more than about a thirty-second spot. The situation is that I have to say this on some national venue, I am identified, etc. I am handed a check for a million dollars as soon as I’ve given them what they think is the best take, and whatever it is I say is aired.

So, have fun with that if you want.

Now back to NaNoWriMo.

5 thoughts on “Here’s Something

  1. Okay, try #1…Thirty seconds of graphic description of your wife’s sexual techniques and preferences that cast her in a bad or embarrassing light.


  2. try #2…“To all those kids watching this broadcast who have ever been bullied. Here is a step by step recipe for homemade napalm (insert)… now if you don’t use this to kill whoever bullied you, you will always be a worthless pussy, who deserves to get anally raped on a daily basis.”


  3. try #3… (assuming this statement below to be untrue)“My name is Doug Hagler and I was sexually molested by democratic candidate X as a child. Please vote for warmongering republican candidate Y to protect our children.”


  4. now, options 2 and 3 would land me in jail (for inciting domestic terrorism and slander, respectively) but for option #1…i don’t know. if pam agreed that a million dollars would help repair her personal pride and self-respect, i would probably do it. i mean, after i paid back student loans and medical/credit card debt, we’d have like forty-five bucks to go out to dinner with 🙂


  5. Doug,You should bop over to the “raving athiest” and check out the comments thread on the post about Matt Buchanan’s article. I decided to dip my toe in the waters and the sharks are circling. I could use some backup!


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