Brief Interlude

Today was the first session of a little adult education class that I’m running on Sunday mornings for the church I intern at. I thought it went pretty well. Even Marcus was really manageable (for those who don’t know, Marcus merits his own post, which may happen someday). At a church this small, for a new program, if five people show up it’s a success, and that’s what we had. Now I just need to do four more.

It occurred to me, during worship, that I feel best about what I’m doing when I’m doing it. Beforehand, I’m worried and upset, and afterwards I second-guess and criticize. But when I’m actually at it, I feel much more confident. In the moment, it seems like I should be doing this.

In other news, I’ve felt some degree of awful for most of this weekend. Something has bloomed, and it is playing havoc with my histamines. My eyes were burning for the entire drive home and I couldn’t stop sneezing.

But I figure, if I was a geek without allergies (not to mention asthma), I would hardly be complete. As it is, I sneeze and blink and cough my way to geek-cred with every new angiosperm.

3 thoughts on “Brief Interlude

  1. On a Sunday I was to preach, when I was half way through my internship, Clarence spoke with me just moments before the worship service was to start.He asked, “Do you get nervous before you preach?”“Yes,” I said, “quite a bit. In fact I’m nervous now.”“You never seem nervous,” he said, “not even when you’re preaching.”I said, “I get more and more nervous waiting to preach. I’m almost trembling by the time the sermon starts. After a minute or two, all the jitters fall away and things start flowing.”Then he said something I’ll never forget. “Thank goodness I’m not the only one! I thought nobody else got nervous before they preach!”Clarence was a retired pastor who had served for decades as a missionary in Mexico, and was still active preaching for local Spanish-speaking congregations. He had more life experience than I’ll ever hope to have, and a tenderness of spirit that’s inspiring.With folks like Clarence, you’re in good company, Doug. Trust the Spirit’s call. Enjoy what you do.

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  2. anonymous: I’ve been told the same thing – that I don’t look nervous when I am. Generally, only people who know me pretty well can tell. I also get nervous at weird times – for some reason making comments in class makes my heart hammer in my chest. I have no idea why.I just have to remind myself that its worth doing things that make me afraid most of the time. I just wish I could slough off a few more neuroses…

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