This is the real headline: “Therapists Join World of Warcraft to Treat ‘Addicted’ Players.”
The story is that a group of therapists are asking Blizzard for free access to WoW to search for and identify people addicted to the game. This is because, they say, that true addicts are hard to reach by other means since they are always in their rooms.
While it is no doubt, well intentioned, I couldn’t help but see this as a situation ripe for parody. It will probably start well, but 6 months down the line this is what I predict:
Therapist: Die! crazy cat lady die!
Assistant: Dr. we’ve received an email from another concerned parent…
Assistant: Yes but…
Therapist: Shhh!!! I told you not to bother me when I’m raidin… fuck. Another wipe.
Assistant: I know, but I thought you might be interested, this seems like a serious case.
Therapist: Do you know how many times we’ve tried this fight? She’s one sadistic little…
Assistant: The kid’s name is Ryan. His character on your server is a Tauren Druid named Wowzalot. His mom says he has been playing about 17 or 18 hours a day lately.
Therapist: Fine. Fine. Make up a file and put it on my desk. I’ll go over it after… did you say a Druid? What spec? We could really use a tree in our raid!
Assistant: I don’t think that’s what his mom had in mind when she asked us to help intervene.
Therapist: Yeah, probably not. Oh well. Listen we’ll have to talk about this later, the group is reforming, gotta buff up.
Therapist: What!?! I told you we’re about to start again!
Assistant: Don’t you think you’ve been playing a little bit too much lately…
Therapist: Don’t start that again! I pay you to answer phones, not to be my personal nag.
Therapist: Here we go! Bitch is goin’ down this time! Ayaaaaaaaghghhh….