I have what seems like a relatively common problem – I care about too much. I want to do too much. As a result of the overload in my life, I’m either working all the time on various projects, or wasting time and trying not to think about all the things I’m not doing. The switch is on or off.
Periodically, I even finish things. Over a year ago, I finished the final draft of Parsec, and we’re now working on getting it up on Kickstarter. I finished what I think is an excellent resource on the issue of the ordination of sexual minorities. Every week I finish a sermon and other stuff for worship, as well as the many other things that I do for work. I finished editing the first five chapters of a friend’s novel as well as editing the system chapter of a friend’s roleplaying game. I’m collaborating with two colleagues on a new website, including weekly video posts and building up a Twitter and Facebook audience.
Typing things like that makes me feel a little better about the whole situation, but I don’t even want to start listing the unfinished projects – even if I limited myself to only listing ones that I’d spent, say, a hundred hours or more working on. There are – Way. Too. Many.
If I was inclined to triage well and to discipline myself, this wouldn’t be a lingering problem. I have yet to figure it out.
I imagine that the answer is to say no, to say goodbye, to projects that I really care about, but which I don’t have the insight or time to bring to fruition.
I really don’t want that answer. Which means it is probably the right one.